| | Lately I have been trying desperately to grasp the shreds of something beautiful.
Continue trying to dig up the remains of something outstanding from inside of me.
Each time I return empty handed and more frantic than ever before.
He asked me what I was looking for once...before he left.
Or maybe I left.
I told him that I had to find that special thing.
It used to be him.
He cried when he looked at me and asked why I'd hurt myself like that.
When I came back, or maybe he did, he was married to another woman.
She was beautiful and quiet and they shared a little apartment.
We went for coffee and I asked about his children.
He didn't have any.
Wouldn't ever have any.
I told him I was sorry and he told me that he was in love with the wrong woman.
He asked me if I was better.
His eyes flashed to arm, and lowered slowly after finding the answer himself.
When we got the bill he said that he was sorry that there were no such things as happy endings.
He told me that he couldn't touch his pretty wife.
It made him sick but he went home that night anyway and when he went home she touched him.
She nursed him back to health after he suddenly caught the flu.
I went alone to an empty apartment.
I don’t know why that keeps running through my head, it’s like a bad movie I can’t get away from.
Do you shut your eyes when life can't get any better in fear that you can only see it get worse?
Should I be willing to miss the moment because it will never last?
Is once really enough?
Or am I greedy enough to always be asking for more?
Is the here and now real if it's different in my memory?
Things are good until I step out the door.
For once can I make sure they stay that way?
Can I still love myself when I feel worthless in comparison?
Teach me how to make confidence last.
Tell me how to bottle elation.
Let me learn to have success rise like perfume from my skin and invade my world.
Does anyone know how to stop these insecurities from crushing them? |
| | Posted 4/10/2006 11:52 PM - 27 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
