| | The pain of life can be so overwhelming, even in small doses. Even if
your idea of harsh reality check is breaking a nail, it still hurts a
lot, as much as the death of a loved one might hurt another.
Sure,
there are degrees of hurt, dead family is much worse than broken nails,
but there are degrees of hurtfulness as well, your potential to be hurt
by something. I mean like, degrees of hurt = death (high) nails (low),
and then degrees of hurtfulness = few family (more hurt by loss) ugly
fingernails (less hurt by loss).
It's obviously more complicated than
that but maybe you get the idea.
What can't hurt you could destroy me.
what I shrug off, tears you to pieces. Just one of the teartopieces
hurts, just a small dose.. Well it's self-explanatory. I think if you
have too much, and it doesn't outright kill you (talking mostly mental
hurt here so yeah), in the end the hurtfulness decreases, or no, it
gets to a point where it can't get worse. Things can still hurt you,
people, memories, emotions, they can all still hurt you, but they can't
hurt you anymore.
You hurt so bad that when people look at you and
compare their own lives they feel better about themselves and hurt
less. You're like a big black hole of hurt, sucking up everyone elses
hurt when they get near you. pain pain pain pain pain. You're taking in
so much hurt, that in the end most of the world damages you. and you
think "I need to hide." hide from the pain, hide from the hurt, the
fear, the insecurity. make you're own little safe place; in your mind,
your home, your writing. .whereever. Fuck that confrontational
bullshit, confronting the hurt just makes you more aware of it. no,
numb is better. gone is better. distance. abstraction. escape. apathy.
All these things make what life you have left easier. it's not much
life, but it doesn't hurt you. and who's to say you're wrong? who's to
say that it's not the right or best thing to do? maybe, when people
tell you that you need to get back to reality or whatever, maybe
they're just jealous of how safe and warm you seem? maybe they want to
drag you kicking and screaming back into their world just so when they
look at you they feel better about themselves again, rather than
secretly envious.
Honestly, is it really such a bad thing to get away from this world? even just to want to? |
| | Posted 7/9/2006 10:55 PM - 33 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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